I have to go with Everett & Jones Barbeque as THE best bbq place I go to. Their flagship store in Jack London Square (Oakland) is the fanciest BBQ I've ever seen and is a wonderful place to take someone for a sit down BBQ dinner.
Three sauces. Honestly, if you don't mind heat go with the hot SuperQ. The burn will stay with you, but the spice combo is wonderful. And its a thick sauce, not a watery one like most hot bbq sauces tend to be.
They give you forks, but get real. Their ribs have to be eaten with your hands. Save the fork/spoon for the two side dishes they offer you (especialy try the potato salad).
Here are the locations for the Everett & Jones restaurants:
BERKELEY-1955 San Pablo Avenue/510/ 548-8261
HAYWARD-296 A Street, , CA – 510/ 581-3222
MODESTO - 1029 Ninth Street/ 209/ 579-2784
OAKLAND-2676 Fruitvale Avenue/510/ 533-0900
OAKLAND-3415 Telegraph Avenue/510/ 601-9377
OAKLAND-8740 International Blvd./510/ 638-6400
OAKLAND-126 Broadway/510/ 663-2350
They have a website, though its mostly about the company and ordering their sauces by mail.
But if you don't want to take my word on how good this place is, take that of John Madden who calls it the GREATEST food anywhere!! (BTW: Mayor Brown bet E/J bbq with the Tampa Bay mayor during the last Super Bowl)